Sunday, October 11, 2009

Its Sunday evening – the end of a lovely weekend with my family, the first in too many weeks that I have not had to work – sheer heaven. Although we have spent the best part of it at home, we had a gorgeous evening with friends last night in their equally gorgeous home. I haven’t laughed so much in ages and it felt so good to be in their company. Its only when you get over a stressful period that you really appreciate life without pressure and worries.
I keep saying it and one of these days I know I will find the resolve to do it – make some changes! There is nothing I want to change about my personal life, but I could happily make some material changes (to my house) and of course work! How many times will I say this, I wonder, before I actually make those changes – or accept. The problem is there are days when I do actually enjoy what I do, but unfortunately they seem to be heavily outnumbered by the days that I don’t. Even as I write I feel like a fraud and ingrate – how lucky I am to have a job and how lucky I am to work somewhere that I am wanted, needed and appreciated! Perhaps what I really need is a change of attitude...
This month I turn 40. I am neither daunted by it or excited about it – just another number. I have never believed that age defines anything. But, I do need to think about whether I want to celebrate my birthday as a milestone, or just do something quiet and intimate with special friends and family. I am inclined to do the latter but I know the pressure is on to do the former!
Summer is on its way, the days are longer, warmer and as Sarah says, she can smell Christmas in the air. While the Northern hemisphere hauls out their winter woolies and battens down the hatches for winter, we are digging out the flip flops and throwing open our doors to let summer in.